Alice, Know The Tears
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「…. Urgh… Actually, the other day, my father …. The lord mentioned something to me. If this mission failed, he would dismiss me from my post as captain and disband the unit. This time, I will be expelled from the Count’s household….」
And so, Captain Sophia began to talk about her own personal situation.
The unit that Sophia commanded, the Nouvelle Knight Order’ Riade Unit, is one of the units of the knight order of Count Tolga Nouvelle, who has a mansion in Riade and controls the territory around here.
It is a unit that is usually in charge of patrolling the area around Riade and exterminating demons.
The Count of Nouvel had three daughters and a son.
Sofia’s younger brother, Klein, was the only male heir to the family, and he was a good son, capable of doing everything at an early age.
His mother was especially pleased to learn that the boy she had been waiting for was a bright one, but at the same time, he was compared to his older sister, Sophia.
Sofia’s two older sisters, who were smart and smart in appearance, were quickly married off to noble families in other territories, but Sofia, who was good-looking but not gifted in anything other than swordsmanship, could not find a husband by the time she reached the age of 17.
Her father, Tolga, a man of strict character, gathered a new group of knights and formed a new unit when Sophia came of age, and appointed her as its captain. That was three years ago.
However, what Sophia was assigned to do was to leave some achievements as the captain of the new unit.
The reason was that if she had at least a few military achievements, she would be able to introduce herself a little better to the other nobles.
Sofia was happy that her father had given her a chance, but when she opened the door, she found that the members of the unit consisted of forty amateurs and mercenaries who had been forced to work for very little pay, with the third son of an unknown merchant family as the second-in-command.
With the exception of Bran and a few others, the troopers are complete amateurs who have never touched a sword or even a dagger, and most of them are criminal-looking ruffians who have no skills but somehow have a lot of confidence.
And then there was the second-in-command, who was always looking down on others and ignoring her orders.
Sofia was disappointed by this, but it was a chance her father had given her.
In order to gain her father’s approval, she worked hard to organize the team, train them, and improve her own skills.
However, when they are in the city, they attack the residents, fight with other knights, fight with adventurers when they look around outside the city, threaten the villagers when they go to the surrounding villages, and start fighting again. In the worst cases, they extort money from the residents, some of them even commit criminal acts such as rape and theft.
In addition, there are not many demons in the vicinity of Liade, where there are no dungeons and the Forest of Death is close by, so there are few strong demons that can be defeated and called achievements.
On top of that, all the members of the team were what you could call amateurs.
Even the demons that the novice adventurers were hunting were sometimes too much for them to handle, so there was no way they would be able to make any good achievements.
In the first place, defeating demons is the job of the adventurers, and the adventurers who the job snatched away from them are often ostracized and harassed her.
Sophia herself was almost attacked by male team members and adventurers on more than one occasion.
While camping, she was attacked in her sleep, and if she walked down an alleyway, she was surrounded by a group of adventurers.
There were many people who had bad thoughts about Sophia, who was originally a beautiful girl and the daughter of the lord.
In addition to that, there were many people in the unit who, seeing her as the captain of a knight order, took advantage of the opportunity and tried to forcibly take her into their arms.
Every time, Sofia was saved by her own talent in martial arts. But that was all.
There was no worse feeling than after knocking down a comrade who had tried to attack her.
What the hell am I doing?
Is this really the right thing to do?
Is there a point to all this?
Do I have to keep going even though it’s so sad and painful?
Will it ever come to an end?
These thoughts were going through her head day in and day out.
There were countless nights when she could not sleep due to anxiety.
However, Sofia did not give up.
The only way for her was the path of the sword.
If she gave up here, she would never be able to face her parents who had raised her as the daughter of a lord.
If she gave up here, she would surely be thrown away.
The seventeen years of her life so far would be meaningless.
However, she believed that she could make it.
She told herself that she could do it, tricked herself, held on to her broken heart over and over again, and desperately tried to fulfill her duty as a captain.
She strictly disciplined her troops and punished those who misbehaved even a little.
She spent her days training, defeating demons, visiting villages in the territory, and bringing the unit together to solve any problems the people might have.
She didn’t care if her troops left.
She didn’t care if the villagers talked about her behind her back.
She didn’t care if the villagers threw stones at her.
She didn’t care if a demon killed one of her close friends in front of her.
There was a time when she was trapped by an adventurer who didn’t like her.
She found out that members of her unit were spreading bad news about her in the shadows.
Sometimes, she even took the blame for the crimes herself.
But Sophia could no longer stop.
She had to try harder.
She had to work harder.
She had to get stronger.
She had to get better results.
And so, three years passed without any significant achievements.
Before she knew it, the number of members had somehow increased to about a hundred, and a female member had also joined.
The second-in-command, who I can say has gotten a lot better, and the other members, who are still misbehaving but have some ability.
In Riade, the residents called her the “demon of reform” and “captain of the rehabilitation unit”.
The people of the city and the villagers she saved began to send her letters of thanks and appreciation.
But none of that mattered.
Sophia’s impatience was growing day by day.
She wondered when she would be able to achieve something that she could proudly report to her father ……. and then.
One day, her father told her that there had been a sighting of a cockatrice in the village of Yata.
The cockatrice is a very powerful A-rank demon.
The petrifying curse on its beak is particularly vicious, and the adventurers in the area, who are currently only ranked B at best, will be unable to compete with it.
However, the members of Sofia’s unit were all at least D-rank adventurers, with a few C- and B-rank adventurers, and Sofia herself had reached A-rank.
The advantage of sheer numbers made it possible to defeat them if they surrounded the area with some sacrifice.
It’s been three years so far.
She hadn’t accomplished much in the past three years, but the chance to search for and defeat the cockatrice seemed to have come to her.
She was determined not to let this opportunity pass her by.
Furthermore, her father had told her that if she failed in this mission, the unit would be disbanded, which made Sofia feel even more helpless.
There was nothing left for her to do. With this in mind, she set out on the expedition to Yata Village.
Then, there was the incident.
The unauthorized move of the team members, the series of actions against Alice and the others, and the resulting deaths of nearly half of the team members.
At this point, the moment she met Alice and the others, Sofia’s heart that had been holding her together for so long was broken.
Oh, it doesn’t matter anymore……
The mission was a complete failure.
When she returned to Liade, she had no place to stay and no face to show her father.
Everything she had done up to that point had been for nothing, everything that had been sad and painful, everything that had made her want to start crying, everything had been for nothing. It was all pointless.
There was nothing left for her to do now.
Then, as a captain, at least in the end, she wanted to take responsibility for what the members had done and die.
At the very least, She would like to take the form of such a body.
The selfishness that was supposed to be Sophia’s first and last was such a small thing.
That was the truth behind Sophia’s statement that she would give up her head, and the reason why she asked to be left with Alice and the others.
After explaining this with a face that looked as if it was about to burst into tears, Captain Sophia kneeled down on the floor and bowed her head, asking for her to stay here.
As we listened to her, I thought to myself,
It’s so heavy. ……
To be honest, I can only feel pity for her past.
Her father was a troublesome boss and forced her to do unreasonable things, and the only person she could rely on was herself.
I can’t even imagine the responsibility and pride that comes with being born the daughter of a nobleman, but I’m sure she has endured for three years …… or even longer since she was born relying on that alone.
If it were me, I would have run away immediately.
She is strong.
And she is honest, sincere, and kind.
She’s just a pretty, hard-working girl, isn’t she?
「…… absolutely. Raise your head.」
And it was Edilua who broke the little silence after she had closed her mouth.
She set me down from her lap on the chair next to her, stood up, and approached Captain Sophia, who was still lying face down on the floor.
Edilua crouched down in front of Captain Sophia and gently placed her hand on her head with a gentle expression on her face.
Edilua then begins to gently stroke her head as if she were a crying child.
Captain Sophia, who looked up in surprise, looked confused, relieved, and a little embarrassed.
After another moment of silence.
「…… a long time ago, I killed a lot of innocent people. Men, women, children, elders, …… hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands of them.」
Looking at Captain Sophia’s face, Edilua began to speak in a gentle and somewhat reassuring tone of voice.
It was a story about Edilua’s past.
「One sided, without any mercy, without giving any way to resist, in the blink of an eye, ……. And when it was all over, I regretted it. It’s so selfish. I had no right to regret it. I’ve done so much. But I was too weak to not regret it. I blamed and blamed and blamed myself, I regretted being born, I tried to die many times, but no matter what I did, I couldn’t die. …… In the end, I decided to be sealed up and shut away in a secluded place until the world perished with me」.
It happened 3000 years ago.
I don’t know the details.
No one in this world knows the truth except her and God.
Yet Edilua says that it is the history of her own mistakes.
She blamed herself and said that she wanted to die, but she couldn’t, so she decided to hide in that forest so that no one will bother her.
「Then one day, someone came to wake me up. The girl who easily broke the multiple barriers that I thought only the gods could break and dragged me out of the cave from my hiding place. She was very cute, and though she was small, she was very strong. …… As soon as I saw her, I thought that she could kill me, that she could put me to death, the enemy of the world. So I decided to tell her exactly what I was. I showed them my status and told them what I was. Most people would be frightened and fearful of that, or despise and hate it and turn against me. Whatever. Will you fight me? And would you kill me? That’s what I’m hoping for.」
I’m sure she’s talking about me.
When I first encountered Edilua, I didn’t think anything of it, I suppose.
That’s not it, the moment I saw her, my reason flew out of the window and started sucked her blood. ……
It was surprised to think that Edilua was thinking something like that.
Because I might be able to kill Edilua, she wanted me to fight her and kill her if possible.
How awful.
It’s totally rude.
I’ll scold her later.
「But, you see, the girl was neither of those things. She hugged me in my dragon form, naked around my neck, biting and sucking my blood, and riding on my head naked. Even when she found out I was a black death dragon, even when she saw my messed up status, even when she found out I was an enemy of all living things, she didn’t change her color and asked, “Can you turn into a human?” It made me laugh. It’s still funny to me now. I thought to myself at that time, “I want to know more about this girl. I want to learn more about this girl. I want to be friends with her. I would like to be with her.” For that reason, I don’t want to blame myself any more. I don’t want to regret the past that’s already over.」
I think that’s a bit much.
I was happy and a little embarrassed to know that Edilua felt that way about me.
But the reason I didn’t think anything of it when I saw Edilua’s status was because I didn’t know what the average was in this world, so I was relieved to find out that I was better than this dragon, and the reason I asked her to be humanized was because I was honestly curious about how the transformation from dragon to humanoid would go.
But let’s not mention that fact now.
In a double sense, it makes me look like an unthinking idiot.
It’s not cool at all.
I’m good at reading the mood.
「Can I forgive myself now? Is it okay if I just let it all go? So I decided to go with the girl. Then, by chance, I received a letter from the highest god of this world. It said that I should be saved too. It said that I could live freely and be happy. I was a little angry that she could see right through me.」
「This is what the greatest god in the world said to me. Alecia, you know her, don’t you? Then you have the right to do so. You can be saved. Live free. Be happy. If you want to be with us, stay with us. If you don’t like it, you can always leave.」
「And until then, you and I can talk about how cute Alice is.」
Then Edilua gently hugged Captain Sophia, who was silently listening to her.
Like a mother holding her own child.
She hugged her gently and tenderly.
She stroked her head.
Rubbing her back.
「I know I shouldn’t really be the one to tell you this, but …… you did a great job. 」
While saying such things.
「……. I’m ……」
Something like “Is it okay to live freely?”
Or “Will I able to keep up?”
Or “Is it okay to stay here?”
Even “Everything that has been done so far has not been in vain, has it?”
One after another, Captain Sophia let out her emotions with sobs, as if her heart had collapsed.
While hugging her to his chest, Edilua pats her on the head and says 「Yes, yes」 to all of them.
The two of them are so gentle and warm.
I felt like crying too.
Eventually, Edilua put her hands on both of Captain Sophia’s cheeks and looked at her from the front.
Her eyes were red, and she was desperately trying to dam up the last of her emotions, her expression beautifully distorted, and Edilua smiled a troubled yet gentle smile.
「You are the opposite of me. You’re weak, but you’re too strong. 」
And that was the last thing she said.
A drop fell from Captain Sophia’s eye and trickled down both cheeks.
Without even trying to wipe them away, she looked at the cruel and gentle dragon in front of her.
Her face was almost distorted, but she tried her best to twist it into a smile.
「……. Ah, ah …… thank…… you」
When she finally said this, Captain Sophia buried her face in Edilua’s chest and cried out in a hushed voice.
She cried out as if to let out all that she had accumulated, all that she had endured, all that she had worked so hard for.
I looked over and saw that Team Member Bran was slumped over his desk, sobbing, and Hedera was wiping his eyes with a handkerchief.
In an empty room with the sound of several people crying, I closed my eyes alone and tried to savor this long, quiet, gentle time.
How long had it been since I had shed soothing, gentle tears that were not sorrowful?
At least, this was the first time I had cried a little like that.
What the… wow.
Thanks for the mass release, a true godsend in this boring sunday.
Keep going, the quality of the translation is quite good imo, and the rythm is good enough even in normal time! Well… feel free to mass release like this everyday, I’ll be more than happy to read it (^.^)
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sorry but i didn´t feel a single speck of pity for her.
That´s the life she chose.
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It was not her choice to be born into a Noble family and bear all the expectations that come with her position.
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I feel that way too. She wants the apporval of her father even though she wasn’t treated well. If she decided to go on her own path and be an adventurer then she wouldn’t worry about eating or drinking.
Basically it’s self-torture.
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Huh? U stupid? She’ll get disowned then rumors will spread then she wont be able to get a job she’ll be hunted down then she gets captured then what? At least there its only mental torture instead of getting caught then who knows maybe sexual abuse too. And living expenses exists that’s why not many people run away from home irl
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@MYBUTT69
You do know her strength level, right? An A-rank adventurer!
If she gets disowned, the worst that could happen is losing the money bank that is the noble family and maybe some rights that nobles have.
Your statement of she wouldn’t get a job is completely baseless. You do know this story takes place in a fantasy world, right? Not the modern world. So, not getting a job just because of rumors is not true at all. Even if it IS true, you seem to not account her strength at all.
She is NOT weak at all. Not at all. Her strength could single out several grown men easily.
Also being captured and what? Is there any reason for her capture? Just because she is disowned doesn’t mean she will immediately be hunted down. What reason is there for being hunted down? If it is the feable reason of her being a direct descendant from this noble family then her strength SHOULD be able to handle most dangers that come her way.
I can’t believe you would really argue an A-ranked adventurer, someone who is already extremely strong in her own right, would not be able to protect herself from sexual assault. This is not a modern world so don’t completely base her life on the standard of the modern world. You keep forgetting that this is a fantasy world and not a modern world, PLEASE remember the difference.
And from what you have written, you seem to regard her as a weak and helpless girl without any way to survive other than relying on the noble family behind her.
PLEASE RESPECT WOMAN, THEY ARE NOT WEAK. NOT INFERIOR TO MEN, AND NOT TO BE UNDERESTIMATED. REGARD THEM AS EQUALS.
TLDR; You have forgotten two extremely important details about that Sophia is an A-rank adventurers (and you can see how strong A-ranked adventurers are) and that the story takes place in a fantasy world.
Adventurers are those that take any tasks whether they be killing, hunting, assassinating, protection, and etc. This job is already in questonable area. The reputation of adventurers don’t matter since the most high paying tasks are those very dangerous that none dare to take. Only low to mid paying tasks would be affected by the adventurers’ reputation.
Also, Living expenses my ass! With her strength, if she really needs money, she could just be employed as a mercenary or enter the military, don’t say that she is too weak because an A-rank adventurer is not weak!
Not to mention A-rank adventurers, F-ranked adventurers could whoop your ass and you wouldn’t even know it!
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I hope you continue this novel again
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I feel that way too. She wants the apporval of her father even though she wasn’t treated well. If she decided to go on her own path and be an adventurer then she wouldn’t worry about eating or drinking.
Basically it’s self-torture.
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This chapter is beautiful.
MORE!
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